Stare Into My Eyes

Stare into my eyes, sparkling blue you will see, look into my soul you become part of me, if you're in my heart there's one thing you will know, I'll care for you sincerely and love for you I'll show, if you don't like what you see in my heart and soul, stare into my ass and you'll see a big asshole!

Pissed Again

Pissed again am I, and now I'll tell you why, I was walking down the road eatin me some pie, a car pulled up next to me and a guy that acted smart, hollered out the window "Hey asshole, need a jump start?", bein the sarcastic ass I am, I replied with the news, "shows you what you know dumbass, I'm rotating my tennis shoes!"

Moe Laster

 If I were 7ft. tall this 340lbs wouldn't be so much, but at 5 foot 7 my toes I cannot touch, things could be worse for this I know, my parents could have named me Moe, I'd much rather be referred to as fatbastard, than to have the law out lookin for Moe Laster!

Happy Mothers Day

Tis the first Mothers day without my loving mother, one who always cared when there was no other, this is for the ones who's mother has passed on, now taking care of heaven for our savior, number one, Happy Mothers day I'll shout into the sky, and missing her so dearly brings a tear to my eye, someday we will meet again when this life closes, and I will give her a dozen of the most awesome roses!

Car

If I were a car, what kind would I be, A volkswagon beetle looks alot like me, the older model, slow and round, we both weigh about a thousand pound, engine in the rear the front holds the gas, my engine and gas are both in the ass, if I were to mate with one it would be swifter, between the wheels there'd be a big shifter! One other thing to you I will warn, if the light is just right you can see my horn!

Sun Set

High upon ye yonder ridge the trees are in full bloom, nature at its finest, breathtaking to consume, beauty is in the eye of the true beholder, the sun is setting on the horizon, could it be much bolder, the moon will soon take over as the skys darken, tis is the time of the night I used to go parkin, romance by the dashboard lights, I thought it was so neat, just too bad that I no longer fit in the back seat!

Show Support

Heres my way of showing support to our emergency personnel, like central dispatch doin there job and doin it very well, and as for rescue and EMS, there's no better in the land, when you get your ass stuck in the commode they will lend you a hand, and firefighters that put you out when your ass is on fire, to the officers that haul people in even when they're feelin tired!

The Life We Save

If you support POLICE OFFICERS, FIREFIGHTERS,EMS and DISPATCHERS then post this on you're status and leave it there for at least one hour. There should be no excuses from anyone.This should appear in everyones status!!!! God Bless and protect our POLICE OFFICERS, FIREFIGHTERS, EMS!!!!!!!Show some Love..The life we
save..just may be yours..!

More than 28 Years

I take a look at myself and what do I see, a little Homer Simpson crossed with Al Bundy, hands in my pants, while hollerin "d'oh", married to a wonderful woman named Jo, had to write somethin nice about her to all, or she's gonna hit me with my own bowlin ball, when she thinks about me her eyes are full of tears, cause she's had to put up with my ass for more than 28 years!

Nurses Week

I understand its nurses week, I sure like nursin, everytime I try my wife starts cursin, I might have taken this out of context, who knows what I'll screw up next, but if you can take me seriously, without our nurses where would we be, for when I'm in the hospital and feelin so down, the nurses keep telling me to lowermy gown! I am priveledged to call them my friends, practical, registered, and LPN's!

Stacy Vaughan

I'm proud to call him friend, he's a good'n, if your feelin down, he'll give ya puddin, he's probly not cute in a thong, I'm singin about Stacy Vaughan; Oh Stacy oh Stacy where ya been, you're bein paged by a friend, you make me laugh, while tippin a calf, this is your fat redneck friend; If you break the law in his town, he'll probly take your ass down,so walk that straight line and you'll be just fine, I'm proud he's a friend of mine!

Paperback Rider

I'm riding on a book and it isn't hardbound, I'm in the sky flyin round and round, they say I'm crazy and I must agree, just read the crap that I write about me, paperback rider, I'm a paperback rider, now my book crashlanded, I'm in intensive care, I should have had on clean underwear, I guess my paperback book ran out of gas, there's 50 pages stuck in my ass, I'm a paperback rider, paperback riderrrrrr!

Long Day

Been a long day and I'm oh so tired, had to get a mitsubishi wired, had to wake up and unlock a car, luckily Webster valley ain't far, my eyeballs hurt deep in the socket, lost my change, had a hole in my pocket, my head is a hurtin along with my eyes, might just have to get my neck circumsized! One skin two skin three skin four, I better shut up before I say anymore!

New Sheriff In Town

Time to celebrate, put on your best gown, we got us a new sheriff in town, name of Ronnie Lawson, I think he's the best, he just kicked butt to pass his first test, I know he will show us of what he is made, for his friendship there's nothing I would trade, now shout from the rooftops yippe-kye-ya, and now for Hawkins county a brand new day!!!

Election Day

 It's crunch time Hawkins county, election day is here, please get out and vote, the choice is really clear, I'll cast my vote for Ronnie, I think he is the man, to lead the next four years like no other man can, he has integrity and is more than qualified, I'm sure he will be leading with his Savior by his side, if you have no ride, but you want to vote, go to my profile and call me, thats where my numbers' wrote!

Boss

I once was a "car guy" but I didn't panic, it wasn't very long til I was a mechanic, then one day while I was at the river fishin, technology changed while I was out so I became a technician, now I'm old and fat but my brain is still a hoss, I tell others what to do because I'm now the boss!

Robin

This one is for Robin who does her job so well, helping people when their sick or maybe when they fell, but someone has told me sometimes she can't remember, things that happen from early October to September, but her sister loves her, I know cause I can tell, she made me write these golden lines cause paybacks are hell! Now I hope I don't catch on fire playin wit some gas, Robin'd probly tell me to carry my own ass!

Robin Carter Greer

A sisters love is 4ever I think it is the best, maybe that is why I've gotten this special request, Robin thinks that Donna should be hunting her a man, maybe one thats tall and handsome with an awesome tan, now Donna is so sweet and such a lovely mother, anyone thats gets stuck with her would never need another! To end this rhyme I think there is somethin you should hear, this idea was born from Robin Carter Greer!

Space Plowboy

Some people call me the space plowboy, some call me the doctor of dung, some people call me mooorece, cause I speak with a slightly silver tongue, people talk about me maybe, sayin I'm doin ya wrong, doin ya wrong, well dontcha worry, don't worry, cause I'm right here, right here right here desrtoyin this song, well I'm a Laster, a fatbastard, and I'm a little bit plastered

Drug

The drug industry has one thing on its mind, the big ones are not worried about the wellness of mankind, I think their more obsessed with increasing man's unit,oh how I wonder if they are ever goin to quit, now they have came out with an extra strong viagra, good for eighteen holes, I think its named Tiagra!

Burn My Ass

The incandescent flicker, of a candles flame, lack of oxygen kills the candle, no one is to blame, thoughts inspired by this flame are rare without a doubt, thoughts imprisoned in ones mind puts the candle out, I try to create fire with both oxygen and gas, the problem with this theory is sometimes I burn my ass

DAMN THAT RIVER

 "DAMN THAT RIVER, DAMN THAT RIVER", TVA shall scream, we must make electric power from that water stream, without us you all would perish now give us all your cash, and we will pollute that lazy river with all of our trash, We will decide how much abuse each of you will take, while we decide the water level of your downstream lake!

Shadows

Shadows in the moonlight, depth of the unknown, unforgiving darkness, relentlessly alone, as I scream in anticipation of solidarity, something grabbing, pulling, trying to get ahold of me, I fight the creatures of the night with high adrenaline, but trying to sustain sanity it seems I cannot win, the sound of dirt dropping upon my cold dark casket, knowing that I should have replaced my cylinder head gasket!

Time

Time passes so quickly much to my dismay, my clock is now a calendar my hour is a day, since manapause has passed I have no grasp of time, and everything I say seems to end up as a rhyme, at least with all these happenings I know I'm still a male, I once was of the human species, but now I am a whale!

Storm

The skys are dark, the wind is up, the lightning strikes the ground, the animals run for safety as another tree comes down, the boats are docked, the waves are crashing, it is an angry sea, nothing the mortal man can do, for what will be will be; There was a time that I was such a fearless sailor, but now I'm sittin down real hard, tryin to save my trailer!